And It Was Good

Recently I was cleaning out a credenza, and I came across a book I used to read to my girls when they were really young. So, I did what anyone would do with a children’s book they love. I sat down and re-read it; right in the middle of this monumental task; and right in the middle of a huge donation pile heading for a new home. To be clear, this book, along with a handful of others, will not be going to a new home. It will continue to enjoy the comfort of my special bookshelf.

The book: Girls Hold Up this World, by Jada Pinkett Smith.

After I finished, I grabbed my phone and took a picture of the book. I started to write out a clever caption. It went something like this.

I need to preface this Instagram post by saying, I’m not a feminist, but this book…

I stopped right there. I couldn’t post it. What would some of my Instagram followers think?  That book makes a bold statement. So does the author.  I canceled the post and set down my phone. I placed the book back on the shelf and continued on with the task at hand. I walk by that nice, clean shelf almost daily, and every time that book grabs my attention, I’m reminded of the unsent post.

Why was I so reluctant to post about that book? Why did I feel I needed to explain that I wasn’t a feminist? Simply stated, I was afraid of being judged and labeled. Here’s the raw truth. I’ve held thoughts, questions and conversations about women’s issues deep in my soul for a long time, fearful of saying them out loud.  But I’m kind of done keeping it to myself. We are living in a time where these conversations are happening all around us—in our culture, our workplaces, our governments, and even our churches.  Hard conversations.  In fact, an entire movement was birthed out of this topic. Does #MeToo ring a bell?

I’m not quite sure when it started for me. Perhaps it’s my generation.  Perhaps I’ve seen a lot unfold over the years when it comes to women, of all walks of life, finding their voice, their place in the workforce, their calling in ministry. I’ve been exposed to some amazing women doing some amazing things in my lifetime.  I’ve also been exposed to men who’ve helped write my own #MeToo story.

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

Recently I read the story of Adam and Eve in Genesis 2. Maybe some of my hang ups about this subject come from one word in the creation account. Helper. I think, over the course of time, this word has taken on different definitions—especially that of a more subservient role.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Genesis 2:18 (ESV)

I notice a couple of things here. The word helper in Hebrew translates to ezer. Ezer is used in scriptures to describe God as our helper.  God is certainly not subservient to humans, nor is God creating a helper for Adam to be subservient to him.  Some articles I read described the word helper as companion. Now notice the word fit? Other translations read: a helper comparable to him; a helper suitable for him. The Hebrew word fit in this verse is translated as kenegdow.  It means “according to the opposite of him.” In other words, a good match for Adam.  My takeaway, Eve was not created to be above or below Adam, but as complimentary to him.**

Please know I am not a Bible scholar by any sense of the word. I was struggling with something, and I went to the one source I know, the Bible, and studied it for myself. Guess what captivated my attention the most? God said, it is not good in Genesis 2:18. Throughout the creation account, this is the only thing God states as NOT good. So, what does He do? He creates a woman. And this is good.

I see a very intentional God. I see a God who lavishly poured out His love in every detail of the creation process. He saw that it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone, and He created a woman, a companion, a helper, that was suitable for him. I see a God that places great value, equally, on both men and women.

Here we are in 2019.  How do we connect what was intended from day one on this earth to this present time? In my snarky and raw moments, I think we’ve just made too big of a mess of things, and the only remedy is for Jesus to return. But In the quieter moments, and until that time comes, we need to cling to scripture. We need to study and believe what God says about us and His love for us—all of us. We need to listen to the Holy Spirit as He leads us in our relationships with others. And we need to continue talking about the challenging, difficult topics with respect, and kindness.

I was sitting in a meeting at church a few weeks ago and the speaker had us read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 a couple of different times, in a couple of different ways. We first read it by putting God’s name in place of love.  Then we read through it by putting our name in the place of love. Oh dear me! I cried through the whole exercise. One, to think of God’s incredible love for me, but then to think of myself in light of loving others—I fall so short.

Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (TPT)

I encourage you to read through this passage of scripture a few times. Let the words fall on you. He loves you, Beautiful Friends! He has placed great value on you. Now go forward with confidence, and live like you’re loved and valued.

**2019, February, How Was the Woman a Helper Suitable for the Man, Got Questions Ministries, got questions.org