Cheers to Mentors

Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.  Hebrews 13:7

It’s a day I will never forget.  It happened over five years ago on a warm September day in Colorado.  I was pretty much having a meltdown—overwhelmed by how busy my life had become.  I was trying to juggle too many plates, and some were starting to crash down and shatter around me.

I called my friend.  She, of all people, would know how to help. Actually, I don’t really remember thinking that I needed any help. I just wanted to share with someone what I was feeling. Ask some questions. And gain some perspective.  I was pretty certain once I met with her everything would go back to normal, plates and all.

I walked into her office at the church.  I sat down. Well, more like fell into the seat across from her.  She had a warm smile on her face, and her forehead crinkled a little when she looked at me. She must have known something was wrong.   She began to speak gently to me, trying to gage what was going on.  Her words, her smile, and her look did me in. The tears started to flow, followed by the outright ugly cry.  I told her how I was exhausted. I told her I didn’t think I could lead the ministry I was leading anymore.  Furthermore, I wasn’t really sure about church, God’s people, my faith, or all the things that defined me at that time.

Stunned by the words that came out of my mouth, I sat back and just shook my head.  What the he** just happened, I thought.  She looked at me and smiled, as if nothing I said phased her.   I mean I was practically cursing the institution of church while sitting in her church office. She got up from behind her desk and came over to the chair next to me.   She looked me in the eye and she said, “I think you’re a little depressed, and anxious, and overwhelmed. I think you need some help, Krista.  I’ve sensed for a long time that you’ve been struggling. You’ve figured it out, and now it’s time to do something about it.”

There were probably four other women in my circle at that time who knew something was off with me. They were my friends, at my age and stage of life. But, if one of them had tried to speak those particular words into my life, without permission, it would have been a train wreck for our friendship.  Now please understand me.  My encounter that day with my friend was divine in the truest sense.   God knew I needed a big nudge, and He handpicked this woman, this friend, this mentor, to do it.  At the time, my husband, my mom, and other friends, who have also earned the right to speak into my life, would not have had the same impact or results that this wise woman, on this particular day, had.

Now five and a half years past that season, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on that profound day in her office at church. I know she covered that conversation in prayer.  I’m pretty sure she asked the Lord, what would you have me say to Krista?  And God gave her the words that would nourish my soul—hard as they were to receive.  Do you see it? She did one simple, but wise thing, she paused, and she asked the Lord what to do.  Can you imagine how much healthier relationships would be if we paused and prayed before we spoke, especially when the person in front of us is facing a sensitive situation? I would even take it one step further and ask the Lord, and myself, have I earned the right to speak into this person’s life?  Do we trust each other? Is this the right time?

Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come. Psalm 71:18

This whole idea of mentorship has been on my mind.  I was asked recently to consider stepping into a mentoring role. Lord have mercy!  Am I really ready for something like this? The answer is NO! I’m so not ready. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it. As I look back on my life from the time I was a teenager to now, I could name a handful of mentors who have come into my life. Some I have crossed paths with for a season. Others have been there for the long haul.  And I’ll bet, if I called them out as my mentor they would hesitate. They might even think, no, we are just friends with a gap in our ages. And that right there is what makes a mentor. It’s not someone seeking a title or a position.  It’s someone pursuing a relationship. It’s someone who walks closely with the Lord, and in obedience, allows Him to grow and nurture a relationship naturally.

I’m still the messy girl that sat with my friend and mentor a few seasons ago. The mess just looks different now.  By no stretch of the imagination do I have life figured out, but I know I’ve experienced a ginormous heap of God’s grace, love, and instruction over the years that can speak to someone else–someone younger.  So, I will humbly walk into this next chapter, with faith, that God knows, and has a plan, for whom I am to walk alongside.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10