Defining Moments

A moment is a brief period of time, often in the present. To define is, “to determine or identify the essential qualities or meaning of.”

Recently, the staff pastors at our church asked me if I would officiate at a memorial service, and I agreed. The deceased was a man in his mid 50’s who had died by suicide. Some of our church members worked with him, but the family was not a part of our church and told us they were “not very religious.” They didn’t want any scripture or sermon. They went back and forth about even having a pastor officiate. Finally deciding yes on a pastor, the family only wanted two prayers and nothing more. Offering the opening and closing prayer and officiating the open mic time when people could share memories, was my assigned task.

Before the service, I spent some time with the widow, and since I was sensitive to the limitations on my speaking, I asked if I could share a very brief closing. She said that would be fine, so I let her know what I intended to say.

I told her that my main point was that his choice at the end should not define his life. There were years of happiness, family, friends, love, and fond memories. She then made the point that his choice should not define their lives either. They need to get through this and move on.

Even though many of us has been touched by someone who chose suicide, the principle of one moment defining a whole life goes beyond that. Aren’t we all glad that our lives are not defined by a moment of foolishness, thoughtlessness, or even sin?

Yet there are defining moments in our lives that make huge, positive differences that shape us. Some moments even shape our eternal destiny. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying suicide determines someone’s eternal destiny. I believe that suicide is determined by other moments and choices along the way.

There are defining moments: Some that we would never want to be our legacy. And some that we would want to be what defined our life.

Even though our lives can be summed up by a series of moments, we need to be mindful of those life changing, destiny shaping, moments we all experience. Let’s not miss one defining moment. It could change our lives.

There is a time for everything,
 and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die,
 a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal,
 a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh,
 a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
 a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, 
a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, 
a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate,
 a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8