It Is How They Said it Would Be

“Enjoy every moment, because it goes by too fast.”

I used to hear that statement regarding parenting, and cringe.  Perhaps my disgust at the phrase was a result of the place I was in at the time I heard it.  Something about the scent of a dirty diaper and gold fish crackers wafting through the interior of the mini van I swore I would never drive, caused me to want to shout a few choice words to the person that said it.

Really?  Really?  Enjoy THIS moment.  I think not.

I did not love the infant and toddler stage of motherhood.  I found myself in a vicious cycle of anxiety, loneliness, and feeling inadequate and exhausted.  And I certainly did not feel like embracing each moment because it would be gone too suddenly.  Quite the opposite, I wished it away.  But once my kiddos turned four-years-old, things changed.  I embraced it.  I found my rhythm, my confidence, my “I can do this thing” mantra.

Well, here we are now.  My oldest daughter has turned 12.  She is now the pinch hitter for the frazzled moms of toddlers.  A babysitter, bringing a few hours of relief to tired mommas.

And more than that, she’s found that life exists beyond the walls of our happy home this summer.  She has girlfriends to see, community pools to swim, church activities to attend, dance camps to dance, and sleepovers to (not sleep).

This momma is struggling.  Where did the time go?  The question I vowed when she was two and potty training that I would never, ever ask.  Here I am, missing her while she’s gone.  Waiting for her to come home so we can talk about her day.  And thankfully, she still loves to visit with her not so old, not so young mom.

It’s different now.  Not bad.  Just different.  A new phase of life to get familiar with.  But also a time where I’m trying to piece together where the time went.  I’m wracking my brain trying to remember the past 12 years.  And when I do this, it’s the good memories that surface.  The frustrating moments from years past have drifted into the foggy recesses of my mind–where they can stay.

This phase of life will pass too.  The good memories will be filed in the close reaches of my mind, and the bad ones will take a backseat like the others.  But through each phase, whatever it brings, I will try to be thankful—thankful for every moment, because it does go by too fast.

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