Does Love Trump All?
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. ’The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31
Several years ago in a church service, the pastor proposed a question, “Are you a grace person or a truth person?”
I should have known this would be an issue with me because the minute the pastor asked the question, I immediately thought, I have a great balance of both grace and truth, but I know who’s all about truth, MY HUSBAND.
Grace: Elegance or beauty of form, manner, or motion; Favor; Divine favor (from God); Mercy; Reprieve; Not harsh.
In my own words back then: Nice to everyone; Kind hearted; Smiley; Easy to be around.
Truth: The quality of being genuine, honest, actual or factual; Proven or verified principle or statement; Not false.
In my own words back then: Brutally honest, bordering on hurtful and harsh.
Oh those immature days of being a newlywed. Thankfully, God revealed to me how ridiculous that thought (or judgment) about my husband was. I’ve learned in the last 15 years the importance of balancing grace and truth in my marriage. More importantly I’ve learned that love trumps both. But it has been a long road grasping this concept when it comes to my other relationships.
Over the years I’ve found myself in the middle of messy church situations. Instead of just loving people through the mess, I’ve chosen to take out my handy grace/truth barometer and take measurements. And, in humble honesty, my little barometer doesn’t have much grace on it. It’s pretty much a judgment meter fueled by anger, hurt and disappointment in people. People that I think should know better.
I don’t think I’m alone here. Whatever relationship circles we find ourselves in, messes happen. And how we handle them says a lot about our character. It’s a lofty goal, but I want people to see in me that I love others.
A few months ago, someone I respect spoke some amazing words into my life. At the time I was struggling with a judgmental spirit. He made a statement that I will never forget, and have since made my personal mantra. “We need to love people better.”
Is it really that simple?
The concept is simple. Carrying it out, well, I’m still working on that part. What I’ve found is that when I’m faced with a messy situation, I need to ask myself, Am I loving others well? If the answer is yes then I know the words I speak, whether truth or grace, will be from a right heart. If I can’t answer that question, then I probably need to pray harder and love better before I speak.
Love: There is no commandment greater than this.
