Two Pronouns. Three Words. One Profound Sentence
It was somewhere around early October of 2015 when we decided to visit a different church in Colorado. Up to that point, we had attended the same church for ten years, and now here we were. I can’t say at the time we were really looking for a new place, but just wanting to see what else was out there. It felt a little weird, like maybe we were cheating on our other church.
My husband was very excited to hear the worship music. My daughters were mostly along for the ride, and I wasn’t really sure what I was looking for. Maybe nothing, or maybe I would know it when I saw it.
The upbeat, energetic, service opened. A young man, maybe in his twenties, introduced himself and welcomed us after the first song concluded. Then he said, “Hey, I just want you to know how much I love you guys.”
Wait. What? What did he say? He must have said, “I love this church.” I must have not heard that right.
After enjoying a great worship experience, the pastor came up to the stage, and he said, “Before I start, I just want to say something. ‘Church, I love you. I love each and everyone of you.’” I did hear that right the first time. What’s up with this church?
What was it about those three words that touched me so deeply? It’s not like I hadn’t heard them before, quite the contrary. My husband and I tell each other those three words daily. We speak those words to our children. I say those words to my friends and family over text and in phone calls all the time. I’ve heard many pastors say that they love their church because of this or that, but this was different. And for some reason, at this moment, it was like I was hearing I love you for the first time.
I’m not sure I came right out and said this in my last couple of posts, but I’ve recently gone through a season of feeling burned out. Burned out from church ministry. I know, it doesn’t really sound like those words should be used together in the same sentence—ministry and burnout. I’m sure there are a few souls out there who would disagree that burnout could ever happen inside the four walls of a church. But I’m here to tell you, IT HAPPENS–probably more often than you think.
I stood in the burnout for a while. I felt it. I tasted its bitterness. I cried in it. I yelled at it. I cursed it. I told a few close friends about my frustrations with it. And then slowly, things started to change. I started to find a rhythm to my life and my faith again.
And on that Saturday night, I sat in that burnout for one of the last times. I sat as a fragile and broken person. I let the words, I love you wash over me. It was as if they were coming straight from the mouth of God to a deep wound in my heart. I may have read more into those words than others sitting in that room, but I want to tell you what I heard. Who knows, they may be just the words someone else needs to hear.
Krista, I want you to know that I see you. You have been hurting lately. I know. Nothing goes unnoticed by Me. I’ve heard your cries. I’ve listened to your requests. I’ve even let you linger in the muck and mire for a while. It might seem like this journey has gone on for a long time, but it’s really just a blip on the map when you see it from My angle of eternity. You will get through it. You will be stronger, better, and deeper for this experience. And here’s something to chew on, you are going to love people better when you come through this journey. That’s right. It’s hard to see right now because you’ve been hurt by people who claim My Name. You’ve seen the humanness of ministry on your side of heaven. But I’m here to tell you that you are on the right path. You will experience healing from this pain. And you will have a story. You will have a beautiful story to share, because I’ve written it. Krista, you are seen, you are heard, and you are loved by Me.
Phew. Deep breath. Thank you, Lord!
I walked out that evening feeling so unbelievably blessed. My journey was not over by any sense of the word. In fact, little did I know, it was going to become even more messy. But those two pronouns, three words, and one profound sentence would be a lifeline for me in the months to come.
Update: To all my friends, no matter what capacity of ministry you are serving in right this minute: YOU ARE LOVED!
I am feeling this same burnout myself right now. I am not a major player in our church but I am still involved enough I am considered a “Leader”. I am older and not exactly physically well, my burnout comes from seeing that my days are truly numbered. I intend to enjoy the remainder of my life, serve my God and still be involved with achieving my “bucket-list” all the while enjoying my husband. I have slowly started my withdrawal from the leaders role while I struggle to maintain a closeness with God. More prayer, more discussion and more quiet time with Him. I love my God more than my life itself and I need Him in the years I have left so my burnout is most likely God saying to “slow down…..I’ve got this”. I think I understand this because my pastor says he loves me all of the time because God tells him who needs to hear those words.
Thank you krista…..I know I’ve been their before. I love reading your blogs, hole you are enjoying AZ and staying cool!
Thank you Krista. The tears flowed reading these words as they so powerfully resonated with my spirit. I am also experiencing this burnout, except now it’s with ‘life’ (I’ve certainly been there with ministry). Fighting a disease for 32 years now and feeling like I’m losing the battle. Sitting in ‘support’ groups and listening to the words “if you don’t aggressively fight the disease you will lose” as I ponder the reality that my body hasn’t been able to tolerate treatment due to a genetic issue. Feeling abandoned by people (it’s not their fault, they don’t understand or know how to respond). And in the midst of the darkness, God whispers those same words, “It might seem like this journey has gone on for a long time, but it’s really just a blip on the map when you see it from My angle of eternity…You will get through it…I LOVE YOU!” The same words He whispers to each of us, regardless of where we’re at or what our struggle is. His grace is always sufficient and His love is immeasurable. Thank you my dear friend. I love you!
Thank you so much for sharing this, Diane. You know I pray for you so often, and I hate that you have to deal with this disease. I just hate it. Your strength through adversity absolutely amazes me. Thank you for always encouraging me by how you live your life.